For years I wanted to attend an invisible dinner, also called dinner in the dark, but either there wasn’t one nearby or I didn’t have time. But now I came across one in Kaposvár, which is in southwestern Hungary, right where one of my best friends lives. I thought I’d ask if he would like to have dinner and tell me all about his experience. I’ve been to one of these dinners before and read a lot about it, but I was curious about it from the perspective of sighted people. It turns out that my friend János has been to this event several times in the past, and he can tell me enough about it so that we can write this interview without participating. János is completely blind, but he talked so much with the participants so he had the answer for all my questions. So I asked him to tell me about his experience.
How did you get to the invisible dinners and what kind of relationship do you have with the organizers?
This event has been organized by my former employer for years. They have been rehabilitating visually impaired adults in southwestern Hungary for 16 years, but they consider full social integration important, i.e. that sighted and non-sighted people live their everyday lives together as partners along common values.
In your opinion, what is the purpose of an invisible dinner, what will make the guests be different after the dinner?
I think one of the main goals of all this is to try to change perspectives in a somewhat adventurous way. It is very interesting to experience what people notice within an hour, those who participate in this, and what tiny details they have missed so far. They always give feedback about it, share their experiences, and say things like, “I never even thought about that.” For example, pouring a glass of water from a pitcher or pouring a glass of wine is such a natural routine task for someone who can see, but it’s quite different for someone who is blind, and of course, for someone who is blind and has always lived their life this way.
For us, it’s routine, but when a sighted person goes out on the street or lives their everyday life and can recall a situation where they might imagine themselves being visually impaired, even if only temporarily, it makes them think. And generally, those who participate in this do think about it. Besides, I think it can be an incredibly fun experience. You can have great conversations with people during this time. In these conversations, you notice that people pay much more attention to sounds or small events, so it isn’t so superficial that is often observed in conversations. This way, you can connect much better with individuals. After we evaluate this at the end, it can also remain valuable on the long run.
How do people react?
It might be frustrating to some. It might be funny for someone else, but there are also cases where it starts funny and then becomes increasingly frustrating. There are many different experiences. For example, food might go off the plate onto the table, someone might spill a drink on themselves, or similar things might happen. Overall, it can be said that for anyone involved, because it requires very intense concentration on their part, this is an intense one-hour activity.
What kind of food is served at the dinner?
It always depends on the restaurant. There are places where there is a soup and a main course, accompanied by a dessert.
But we strive to ensure that guests can choose from two options, so the dinner also provides them with a culinary delight by allowing them to enjoy a dish that suits their taste.
How does such a dinner happen in practice?
Upon arrival, we greet the guests and then talk for a few minutes about what will happen. After that, we distribute blindfolds to everyone and escort them individually into the restaurant. Before they receive the blindfold outside, they can try using a white cane if they wish, and after covering their eyes, the guests can decide whether to enter the restaurant with a white cane or using sighted guide techniques. There was a location where they didn’t have white canes, only sighted guides. They could then decide whether to approach the restaurant via stairs or an elevator. In this case, the restaurant was in a retirement home where there was a handrail along the wall to assist with navigation. This served as a good reference point for the participants even with their eyes covered. Everyone is escorted to their seat. After sitting down, everyone could explore their table, naturally with their hands. There were not only utensils but also a pitcher and table decorations on each table. Before serving the chosen dish, guests could try pouring from the pitcher, but of course, they could pour themselves a drink at any time during the meal. If anyone had questions or requests during the meal, there were helpers readily available.
During the meal, a visually impaired assistant was also present, walking among the tables, sitting down for a few minutes at each table, and guests could ask questions and talk to them.
After the meal, the event leader asked questions about the experiences, feelings, and insights.
What did people use for pouring?
Some checked the drink level by the temperature of the glass, while others used their finger to gauge the right level. Some tried to judge the amount of drink in the glass by its weight.
Regarding the food, some easily found the side dishes, meat, salad, etc. Was it easy to cut the meat, or did they prefer to eat with their hands? Some reported that by the end, they became completely distracted because they were so tired from keeping track of everything in their minds that they couldn’t even enjoy the meal.
How well did they adapt to doing everything with their eyes covered?
Those who were there for the first time didn’t have a chance to see the whole place, as they entered the restaurant with their eyes already covered.
The event leader asked questions while everyone’s eyes were still covered.
Then they could remove the blindfolds, and that’s when the surprise came as they saw their surroundings. The restaurant, the mess they had made around themselves. Many said they thought the space was larger than it actually was. Perhaps because of the noise and the echo of the room. Some even lost their sense of time during the dinner.
This can be a very intense and possibly overwhelming experience. What happens if someone has a problem or can’t complete the dinner?
So far, no one has panicked. Generally, slightly more open, adventure-loving, and empathetic people attend such events. Naturally, if anyone feels very anxious or uncomfortable, they can notify any of the helpers. If the tension cannot be resolved, the person is immediately escorted out. But generally, everyone is cheerful, in a good mood, and disciplined.
Participants often laugh a lot at their own mistakes and also at each other’s. If someone accidentally does something they can’t solve alone, like knocking a pitcher of water off the table or dropping a utensil, the helpers immediately assist and solve the problem.
The organizers always ensure that the restaurant staff is an active part of the helpers’ team.
Of course, the restaurant staff does not directly resolve issues at the tables, but they work closely with the event leaders and facilitators.
Thank you
János, thank you very much for presenting the invisible dinner to us in such detail. I can only recommend it to anyone, whether sighted or visually impaired, to participate in such an event if they can. For the sighted, it is obvious why, but for the visually impaired, it is important for us to understand how sighted people interpret our lives and how we can help them.
Originally this interview was done in Hungarian, so if you prefer, you can read the original text.
